Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Still dying that you shit outside
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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