We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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