I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
