I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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