They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
