My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
