Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
now i know why i became what i already was.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
