Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
