just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
