I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
