Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
