Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
