Im at strip club and am horny
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
