okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
