My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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