you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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