dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize