I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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