Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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