Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
