I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
