i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I will be naked everywhere
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
