i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
