Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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