So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
