If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
