If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
