I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
