You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Randomize
