Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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