I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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