just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
