Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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