I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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