I cockslap morals
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
