I'm really into asian looking animals
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
