Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
