you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
