hotel room ftw
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
