I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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