Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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