Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
