I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
