You just made me feel so damn special
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
