Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
