i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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