You're my little dorito
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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