Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
