I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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