Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
